Many mothers prefer to stay at home with their children, but understanding what this means and how to be a housewife can make a huge difference. Becoming a successful stay at home mom and housewife takes work.
Many women would love to stay home and raise their children and care for their home. In order to make this happen successfully, a few things need to be understood. The needs of the children and the needs of the family as a whole.
In this post, you’ll learn what it takes to be a housewife and stay at home mom. You’ll want to set up a plan so everyone is on the same page about what your household will look like. If you’re new to this, I have a free homemaker’s starter kit to help. You can download and print off to help you be a successful housewife and stay at home mom.
I’ve learned that there’s a lot of trial and error that goes along with staying at home with the kids. There are so many days that the hours get away from me and the list of things that I wanted to do. But more important things just pop up during the day causing my plan to spiral.
When my oldest daughter was born I worked a lot. I missed all of the firsts. It killed me inside to drop her off at daycare every morning. Knowing that someone else was going to enjoy her all day and I didn’t. However, since I was a single mother with no help from her dad. I had no choice but to go to work so we could eat and live in a home.
Mom guilt is real
When I married my husband and we started trying for our youngest. I knew working full time wasn’t going to be something I could do. I worked part-time because I truly loved what I did but when my kids needed me, they were my priority.
Every home is different. Some mothers cannot stay at home, some don’t want to, and others do. There are sacrifices that all families make for all scenarios.
Housewife vs homemaker
Calling yourself a housewife, homemaker, or stay at home mom doesn’t matter it’s all about what term you’re comfortable with using. All are great and should be worn as a badge of honor. The job is hard and unpaid but the reward is, in my opinion, totally worth it. Knowing that you’re the one seeing your kids’ firsts everything. Also being the one that needs first is worth every sacrifice made.
So many people see the worth as monetary contributions. Calculating what you do each day and the money you’re saving each day/month/year is actually money in your pocket.
When we decided that I’d be stepping away from my job we looked at some ways we’d be saving money. We’d be saving money on:
- Daycare costs
- Food
- Clothing
- Car maintenance
- And many other things
A study was done about what a housewife/stay at home mom was worth and the results were crazy! With everything that we do for the home and family, a stay at home mom is worth a salary of over $115,000 (in 2011).
Now that you know how important this job is, let’s talk about how to make it work for you and your family.
Learning How to Meet the Needs of a Husband
I know that this does sound a little too 1950’s but hear me out. Husbands are sacrificing too. Think back to monetary contributions. Going down to one income add stress to not only you but to him too.
Not only do you have the added stress but there are also expectations that he might have about how the home will be when he returns in the evening. The difficulty is that each man has different expectations and he may not understand the constant demands and unpredictability of the day.
It’s important that both sides talk about the expectations of others for this to work. If he thinks that you’ll be greeting him at the door with a pipe, slippers, and paper when he gets home from work with dinner on the table and the home sparkling and the reality is completely different resentment can build which can hurt a relationship.
On the other hand, if you think that he’ll be taking over as soon as he gets home so you can actually take a shower in peace and that doesn’t happen more resentment can build.
Sit down and talk about what each other’s vision for you staying at home will be. Knowing up front what each other can expect will build a strong and lasting relationship without the unnecessary resentment building.
Learn how to Balance Housework
I learned quickly that being a stay at home mom comes with days filled with unpredictability. You really have to rethink how your days will go. When you go to work, you’ll find a few things that will pop up but for the most part, you can know what to expect.
Setting up a stay at home mom schedule is a great way to balance the housework, kids’ schedule, and your schedule.
There are so many things that need to be taken care of. Errands need to be run, kids need to be entertained, and the list goes on. By creating a schedule that works for you is what’s going to make your days run smoother.
I’m not saying that your days will suddenly become predictable but I’m saying that your days will be easier to manage. Grab the free Homemaker Starter Kit to help you balance the housework, schedules, and everything else you have to deal with on a day to day basis.
Meeting the Needs of the Children
Our kids are what helps make a family complete. However, they are probably the hardest to balance. With needing a snack every 5 minutes or getting into something when you turn your back it really can make your day seem like you’ll never get to your to-do list.
Setting up some structure for the kids is key to helping you balance it all. Giving them a balance of play and work will also help them learn quickly what it takes to be a family member.
One thing that my husband and I did with the kids when they were young was giving them age appropriate chores as early as we could. When my youngest would walk into the kitchen and pull things out of the dishwasher I didn’t look at it as her making a mess, I looked at it as her wanting to help. So I pulled out the silverware holder and had her put the silverware away.
By giving the kids some responsibilities early this gave them an important role in the running of the house and it didn’t just fall on me, the stay at home mom.
Balancing a one income household
I have to say that we are fortunate enough to live off of one income. My husband has a great job with amazing benefits that made the choice simple for me to stay home. However, there were things that we needed to do in order to live comfortably on a single income.
My husband and I hate debt. We don’t hold a balance on our credit card, we pay cash if we go on vacations, and we go without if we can’t afford something. We pay into our retirement and make sure we always have enough in savings.
When we purchased our house, we bought something we could pay off in less than 15 years. Making money choices like this made it possible for us to live well and not worry about money with only one income.
We don’t live in the biggest house on the street, but our home is loving and in great shape. Our family doesn’t go on vacation every year but we do things as a family that the kids still talk about. My husband and I don’t drive a lot and we keep our cars for over 10 years.
We stick to our strict budget and don’t have a need or desire to keep up with the Jones’s. I love to cook so most of our meals are made at home by me. And finally, we don’t spend more than we make.
By making some smart money choices we are able to enjoy a life filled with love, joy, and happiness without too much added stress.
Being the housewife and stay at home you want to be
It is up to you and your family to make the rules. If this is something that you really want then sit down and talk it out with your husband. Every family and home is different and what works for us may not work for you but following a few of the tips that I shared today I hope creating a plan that works for your family will be a little easier.
By communicating your needs, your husband’s needs, and your family’s upfront balancing housework and family and balancing one income you’ll be on your way to becoming a successful stay at home mom in no time.
To help with this a little bit more, you can download the free Homemaker Starter Kit to help you create a schedule that will work for you.
Jenn
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